Dear Doctor Lin,
Between the ages of 19 years and 45 years due to an inability to accept my sexual orientation, homosexual, I became a chronic masturbator. I would sometimes masturbate twice a day depending on how stimulated and lonely I felt. I have never experienced a loving caring relationship as this would be unacceptable to family and community. I have never indulged in casual sex as I am too respectful of myself. I have suffered from chronic depression, suicidal tendencies and eating disorders. I self medicated by smoking marijuana as it had the temporary effect of dulling the pain of loneliness and frustration in my heart. Throughout I have tried to steel myself and stay healthy by eating only health giving foods such as brown rice, lots of vegetables and fruit and vegetable juices. However years of chronic self-abuse and marijuana smoking has taken it's toll. I suffer from very weak musculature, epicondylitis, shooting pains all over my body, especially in my eyes, brain fog, inability to concentrate, disinclination towards mental tasks, painful stomach, especially when digesting or just before a bowel movement, eye floaters, tinnitus, tremors, dizziness, low calcium (I live in the northern hemisphere with very little sunlight), joint pains, sudden loud noises cause me to start and seem to go through my body, insomnia and bowel problems manifesting as stabbing pains in my rectum, pain along the length of my penis. My nerves feel as if they are about to shatter, I am hyper vigilant (fearful of everything) and exhausted. I also suffer from renal colic and occasional hematuria. I stopped masturbating 2 months ago after what felt like a total collapse of my body, I was unable to do anything for 5 days save lie in bed. I have rejoined the gym and taken up Wing Chun and meditation to help cope with my various malaise. However due to a feeling of complete exhaustion I am not progressing as well as is expected. I have been taking Avena Sativa and Saw Palmetto! for eight weeks with little effect. I would appreciate your help and advice.
Faithfully,