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![]() Reader: 9/18/2003> I have been married for just over 2 years. I'm 25 and he is 26. My husband and I dated for 4 and a half years prior to being married. During our courtship, we had a phemonemal sex life - we would do it at any chance we get (quite often, more than once a day). After we got married, it was almost like a light had been switched off in my husband. My sex drive has not changed, but his has decresed dramatically. Furthermore, the quality of the intercourse that we have is not as good as it used to be. He generally ejaculates after 3 or 4 minutes and I am left feeling very unsatisfied. He has taken steps to "re-introduce" foreplay into our encounters, however, this is only done some of the time. We by no means have sex infrequently (maybe once or twice a week), but our libidos are so mis-matched - as I've mentioned the quality is not what it used to be. I have discovered that my husband masturbates (at least once a week). Could this be causing the change in his attitude towards sex? He has assured me time and time again that his feelings and attraction to me has not changed, but I somehow can't help but feeling unnerved by his lack of enthusiasm towards sex. We have discussed it several times and he doesn't know what to attribute his lack of excitement to. To be honest, at times I have felt like a failure and have fallen into a depression over it. Is it normal for a man to lose his sex drive so early in life? I welcome any advice you could give me on this issue. Dr. Lin: 9/18/2003> Have he abused drugs or over-masturbated himself before? Reader: 9/19/2003> He used to smoke marijuana when he was younger. To my knowledge he doesn't over-masturbate. He is pretty open with me about it and says at most he does it twice a week. I should mention that he runs his home business from home, while I work in an office. I think the masturbation may be a result of boredom. It's just so odd to me that a 26 year old male is less interested in sex than a young woman. Attraction isn't the issue - I know he is still very attracted to me. He just doesn't seem to have much interest in sex. 90% of the time, sex is initiated by me. Is this normal and is there anything I can do (naturally, without medication) to increase his sex drive? Dr. Lin: 9/19/2003> You may be interested in this case - |
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